my broken heart
lays on the ground
lonely without you
not knowing what to do
empty of hope- life- love
everything worthwhile
i look through pictures of
when we were together
all the good times
all the love
everything that was me and you
that had any meaning
i miss you
i love you
i guess i’ll have to get over you
not my first choice
but the only one i’m left with
The prickly roses and the violets, too are gone
sweet memories of past picnics and summer fairs
of Renaissance ladies, leading us to lush lawns
where I won at the games, two large stuffed bears
that drunk on laughter, we gave away, that once upon
a lifetime ago, inscribed in our hearts, a dream shared
though its beginnings courted danger and purloined risk
with your dark hair and shaded eyes shadowing escape
when I took you from that biker you hitchhiked with
taking to the highway that we found in every place
I remember your stolen smile, your half-way kiss
that one day was gone without any forward trace
though I regret tears that come with a fool’s blindfold
I take comfort in seeing what you mean to me still.
Uneasy with the thought that you have left
evidence of your return I am without
no calls or message at all, except
the echo silence makes with each new doubt.
A prison I might call these empty rooms
bereft of one who lived inside its doors
and left me prisoner under a pale moon
like us eclipsed by all that we ignored.
Ask anything and I will take to task
to undo or repair what made you leave.
I sit here with tears and an empty flask
not sure of what I have or truly need
The sadness of not knowing’s difficult
lack of parting words- the final insult.
I can forgive
I can’t forget
Those words cut me
With time I looked back
Thinking not of me
Thinking of you
The deep anguish
The fire in your throat
The venom you screamed in words
The passion of frustration
I left
I won’t return
At first I wanted an apology
Now I want nothing
It wasn’t that hard to leave
It almost made me smile
I’m sitting alone in this damp street
No one but me and the moonbeams
Stars are shyly showing off their dazzling charm
The wind is passionately touching the tree’s silhouette
I’m silently watching them dancing to my mute melancholy
My volcano is strangely so wise tonight
My earthquake is finally constant
My tsunami is completely dry
No damaged fantasy
No query for a smashed memory
October’s moon is so plump
No more you within its sheen
I know, it’s a temporary truce
Between hate and love
I know I’ll crave you by noon
Yes I’m in the loop
But at this point, I’m over my love disaster
I’m missing you right now but I don’t lust for you
Obviously I’m thinking about you
But at this moment I don’t wanna behold you
You who carelessly watched me making out with sadness
And proudly locked me in the cage of loneliness
You who promised to keep me warm inside your chest
You who ghosted me with a cheap finesse
Instead of painting the vibrant amber, yellows, and reds of our 4th autumn
I’m writing the end of our finis chapter
Darling, I’m not hating you
But I’m not forgiving myself for loving you
For sending all my starry prayers only to you
For forgetting myself just to remember you
For sucking your anxiety just to hearten you
For dating the night just to meet you
For faking my satisfaction just to delight you
For believing the masquerade written by you
For cutting off what I needed and gave it to you
But I was invisible in your cold fortress
Where I thought I’d loose it with the flame of my romance
I was thrown away in your wizened forest
Where I believed I was your red tulips
In the end, I was your first falls leaf that fell from your sick tree
And set it free with a grip of an icy wind
Tonight, I’m lost on this wet sidewalk
Somewhere out of your zone
Aloof place where my broken heart was buried
I remember, you were my Bethlehem’s star
Everything was ridden by your shade
And I was a fool for believing that I was your sun
Sure, Love was never happy by my side
I lied to myself and now I’m paying off the debt
Tonight I’m stripping off my soul from its last ill hope
Tonight I’m on my knees apologizing to these sparkly creatures
For absorbing their spiritual energy
In order to protect who left me murdered
By the ghost of him
Who’s still dwelling within me
Tonight I’m dimming between these moving clouds
Losing myself to this wistful breeze
Weaving my torn spirit with hued autumnal notes
Before waking up from this dream
And back to beg my heart to stop begging you
Tomorrow I’ll fall again, break down again, and get rejected again
But tonight I’m giving up on my life
This life called ‘YOU’…
More at https://pygswhisper77.wixsite.com/pygswhisperofficial/one-autumn-night.
I’m no good reading between the lines
I get stuck at decoding the obvious
I believed all those lies you told me
so who is really the fool after all
I know that by tomorrow I’ll be fine
and you’ll still have your sad life saga
you’ve broken our rental agreement
love’s only a lease, never a purchase