The girl i loved left me just the other day. My visions and dreams have all been taken away. Leaving me with grief and sorrow to bear. Life ain’t easy and love isn’t fair.
My tears are falling like the rain
Clouding my visions of tomorrow
Darkened skies add to the pain
No I’ll never love again
If i could only stop the rain
words blur together
congealing
before eyes
brimming
with the sea
held back
by clustered
lashes
a stream spills down
pockmarked cheeks
lined with years
spilling onto
crisp paper
lips tremble
in silent
defeat
as a vice
grips the chest
caved in
from decades of
memories
a wet gaze looks up
at an apparition
from the past
but the present
commands
attention
to itself
it calls for
just a squiggle
on pristine pulp
but hands
paralyzed
with grief
cannot move
threats flew in
that stifling air
biting syllables
that rend
and tear
sign the damned papers
the hand moves
as unvoiced wails
rise up
from that
caved in chest
it is done
In my silence, will time heal all
For constantly I hear her call
All my life never felt so low
The clock in my heart runs so slow
The pain I have time cannot feel
Cut up with words as sharp as steel
The wounds are hidden deep below
The clock in my heart runs so slow
Now the days seem to drag on by
When I was with her time would fly
The ache ticks on I watch it grow
The clock in my heart runs so slow
Your life is in the open
your heart is against the wall
a thousand times a day
that howlin’ from fifteen years ago
won’t quit
sneaking up on ya
ghost to ghost
no water in you
no light to come
as you are
this broken
and leaning
against
all that can’t hold you
the ground
neath you
opening its hungry mouth
this time something’s gonna feed
and it won’t quit till you’re gone.
Rain lashed,
I pondered
Life, I’d seen
The heartache
It brings, still I
Wondered, lost in
Distant thoughts,
What could
Have been,
As I froze
To death.
She was the girl
Who got away
Causing the boy
Acute heartache
No notch
In the girl’s belt
As she was left
Bewildered
By her actions
She the girl
Who tiptoed away
Declaring that ubiquitous
Break up statement
I love you
Like a brother
He the
Sensitive teenager
Who recognized
He was
Dumped brusquely
He so young
She even younger
But discarded
Is discarded
Loved as a brother
Or not
Humiliated and uncertain
Of what crime
He had committed
As she chose
To go
Underground
Concealing herself
When she passed him
In hallways
And stairwells
In life
Neither erased
From their minds
The effects
From that
Early time
And yet
They lived
Happily ever after
Almost
Waiting to die –
That’s what heartache feels like,
It’s a frozen block of time
And an absence of the mind –
I’m not living nor am I dying
But my eyes constantly feel like crying;
Solitude has become a prison
And my favorite world,
The one I live in,
Has been covered in frosted dew –
It’s a dense haze because that’s all I choose to see,
So I cling to soulful words to possibly set me free;
I’ve been struck by abrupt pain
And vividly remember the pouring rain;
But in a sense,
I’m doing just fine;
With perpetual patience
The sun will again shine.
More at http://www.mikeloayza.com/.
I walked
Forgot the pain
I felt, just there
Shock, my heart
Died, all sense
Left me, broken
Unable to talk
It killed me
No one noticed
Or saw my
Heartache
It will
Always be
There.
It’s like a wave that washes upon me,
The painful sight of your face,
The precious memories we once had,
The past is all I could taste;
Grateful of all the memories
But attachment sheds these tears,
My fears come as projections
As I reminisce all of the years;
Loneliness becomes an enemy
When you fear your every thought,
Solitude becomes a prison
When you dig a torturous plot;
It takes work to leave the present
And it is truly effortless to live –
So why must I take this heartache
And give and give and give?
If it’s your pain I feel then I release you,
I beg you no longer to stay;
We’ve made mistakes,
Our souls, they ache,
But our minds no need to play;
Sleep tight, my little angel –
For you no longer exist;
Sleep tight, my little angel,
For it is time to rest in bliss.
Do you ever look to the same bright star in the sky?
Does your heart skip a beat when you remember the look in our eyes?
I’ve gone through this life alone, by myself but not for from home;
I’ve chosen to life in solitude bliss,
Sheltered by the love of what heaven truly is;
I’ve ventured through the purgatory scattered throughout my mind;
I’ve dined in paradoxes and evaded endless time –
When the stars fall and they’re in your view
And passed memories haunt the few,
May you always remember that I will always love you and the times we had,
I love the memories enough to take the good with the bad –
It is how you left us that now remains a bitter taste,
It is in the sleeping our when I’m haunted by your warm embrace;
Writing in darkness needs no light,
I need no vision to flow out all of my might;
While the clouds move and I speak to her beauty,
While my tears fall as gratitude is its duty;
I’ve always loved and admired but now I had to train to forget,
To be in the moment and not to venture into what is not yet –
When I wish for love I now hold my own embrace,
I find myself in nature and the tribe of the welcoming face –
The sun shines bright along with your infectious smile,
Memories then bring a grounding state as clarity stays for a while –
As every beginning comes to an end,
Nature’s flowers will eventually bloom again.
More at http://www.mikeloayza.com/.
The best art comes from pain,
The best flowers come from rain;
I’ve cried a million tears
Because we’re through –
I’ve watered a forest,
Desiccated it,
And magically
It regrew –
The power of the artist
Will forever live
Through and through;
Dark sky is temporarily
And soon will come blue –
And the birth will arise
From the death
Of your hue.
More at http://www.mikeloayza.com/.