I was moon-writing when
Life decided to interrupt
I cradle Brahms cello sonata
As it strums inside my soul
Where in the world
Has the colour gone?
Rain has white-washed
The garden where I breathe
Some days I search
As far as the clouds end
Fly away with me so you’ll
Be on my mind for ever
I’m calling
home through
my car
radio tonight
calling the
wallflowers
who sit
alone at
high school
dances
calling the
young mothers
who couldn’t
go at all
I am
feeling you
all on
these old
songs and
dark roads
tonight I
am again
the boy
alone on
the bleachers
looking for
someone to
see past
my plastic
sneakers and
thrift store
shirt someone
to wipe
the dust
off my
glasses and
see something
other than
the weird
kid with
one foot
already
out the
door
just once
i wish something
would work out
that there wouldn’t
be some problem
that things would
go smoothly
that i wouldn’t
have to jump through
extra hoops
that luck would
go my way
instead of
against me
why does it never work
i try try try try again
then try one more time
after that and it never
seems to happen
maybe there’s something
wrong with me
maybe it’s blind chance
i attempt not to think about
the possibility i might
not make it but it
creeps in once in a while
more like always
in a while
I will like to live an afterglow of smiles
when life is done
like an echo whispering softly down
an empty hall.
When it rains, it rains with vengeance
and when the harmattan strikes,
you can’t smile naturally without bleeding.
Upon my head is a freight
heavier than a fermented cassava
that makes me stagger like a blind drunkard.
Can there ever be sweet without sweat?
Will my tears of grief
dry up before the sun tucks into the cloud?
I would fly away with the wings of fortune
to the remotest sea; sit quietly at its bank and
relax with the loud silence of nature.
May the morning mobs the evils that survived the night.
I shall be resolute regardless
and stick my head above like a Nazi’s prisoner.
Just like the River keeps flowing,
i will keep moving on.
There is a sadness
In my heart
That never goes away.
It follows me
Like a shadow
Every night and every day.
It has become
A play- thing of sorts
Like a long-lost teddy bear
It makes me shed tears
When I need to
And it brings me a little comfort
When I need that too,
But someday I hope to lose
This sorrowful shadow of mine
And find something better
To ease my weary mind.
I only need to see
To look within the
mirror…
For truth is my reality
A vision oh so clear
Alas, the fog closes in
And my world-
becomes a blur
Seeking- I am
lost again…
The way so
unsure
There’s four walls and a ceiling
A gaping hole in the ground
Creeping to the far corner afraid to make a sound
But soon my teeth start grinding as I welcome the pain
It shoots through my body, paralyzing, crippling me
It wipes my mind clean then screams into the silence
The thoughts that butcher me in my sleep
And sit with me in my seat
And hitch a ride on my shoulders as I walk down the street
Some nights I wonder why I can’t be a log
Just hit the ground and stay anything but awoke
Can’t slumber coz there’s a war up ahead that manages to pierce the center stage
And lay to waste every single beam that fights it’s way through the barren stage littered with carnage
It’s sits on my chest, sniggering
Push it away but it hugs me tighter
Some days I have some summer
Some days I have nada
Some days the glass is full
And others it’s just broken
I want to turn it off but that switch is just broken, or doesn’t exist or hiding in plain sight
Guess I’ll never know.
I sleep in a bed with two pillows
sadly such irony doesn’t escape me
I’m the victim master of this misery
my desk chair has become my throne
is this truly where I live
this address is so strange
it must that I live here
all my keys seem to fit
how much longer am I to live
I need to know how to pace it
with no access to answers
must I keep going doing
all my joys are mixed with memories
getting me through this blur of days
I can no longer stand this wallowing
my self pity permit’s long expired
don’t ask me for new insights
don’t spring any of your own
you won’t uncover how I’m coping
crying laughing in the summer rain
for in dejection
and in hopeless render
on a shaky bastion
I’d write me a letter
two months and more than three
my reality, thine rosy thorn
down, in spiral, can thy see
in impression, was I forlorn
for now, I lay, curled, asleep
tumble dreading, in slippery slope
dreaming, hoping, I can leap
away, toward, in hint of hope
a number of moons, I’d count
a fortnight of five periods in rain
inklings of miseries, oh they mount
blot like ink, tattooed like pain
conquered even the hopefuls
a stretched out, foreboding reality
this land, roamed, by deceitful
now, a broken heart, have I thee
wish I may, the months, I’d skip
else, force embraced all dread
if I could only, through time, I’d leap
towards the time I’ve already med
not one person, would like to be
in the clutch of a weary heart
in wish, leap the future and see
jump in time, for anew, a start