The solitude that is mine now, is bittersweet.
As the day progresses into evening, imagine the sound of your ring on
my phone.
knowing that if it comes, I am set up for another deception,
another lie,
another empty promise.
At least the silence is safe, I can rest.
Resting in my own space, I will not feel the sting of another
disappointment.
Here I can imagine that you miss me,
that you think fondly of me.
That you wonder what I am doing at this very moment.
That I have some power.
The harsh words that set this in motion, will fall away, as time will
allow.
In the space we created by arguing, we have time to rest.
Do you also know that in this rest,
I am allowing my love for you to stay, it is valid…
or slip quietly away, and I will reluctantly begin to move on
Whatever the outcome, I will accept.
Yes, bittersweet, knowing what my heart holds for you,
and the lonliness I will feel at either outcome.
You may show at my door, without a word of apology for me, and I will
take you in.
knowing the futility
You may allow the space to grow,
to see who will fall first to temptation.
You do not know my heart has forbidden it to be me.
If this is the cruel game we will play, so be it.
either way… I lose