There is a black door
between us
the door laughs at me
and it cries at you
but it can never open
it’s fixed forever locked
at the will of a one year old
a manifestation
of everything
I ever did wrong
a new hope and salvation
away from my miseries
I know you’re there
my heart is a compass
that will forever
point to you
my true north
even as your memories
drag me south
I don’t need eyes
to see you
or ears to hear you
we connect to each other
in a spiritual realm
where I can hold you
once more
I embrace you
like I never left
you grace me
with your
sugar kisses
it’s fifteen years ago
in our first apartment
every night
there I die
with our kids
every night
like a fairy tale
in reverse
without an end
I know we both do this
we were meant
to hurt like this
It’s why we met
to hurt
the messenger
told us both
we are half of each other
and fixed in a circle
walking the same ground
going over the same steps
we both try
but cannot
move forward
we can’t escape the past
the door won’t open
It laughs and it cries
and the child innocently
holds the darkness
every time your sorrows
escape your beauty
it stains my pillow
distance is an illusion
imaginary conclusion
baby,
we are not in a delusion
this is really happening
there,
the both of us
with our kids
every night perish
I’m pushing up
your daisies again
Gorgeous!
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