I now know love, that you were right
When you took my hand
And told me not to
On the bridge, that in hindsight,
Divided rather than united us
For the drizzly evening,
The night over in your apartment
My pride and my conviction
Led me here, where there’s only
A shadow, a translucent image
Of you
When you were there always with me
I never thought how much I’d miss you
If you were lost to me one day
You were like my lipstick I used and disposed
When I could never find the exact same shade
Only I felt how valuable you were to me whom
I so easily left
Overwhelmed by loneliness and gloom
I am now used to both
But they are not friends who share my life
They are murderers lurching behind, under and beside
Patiently watching me perish
Without wasting a bullet on my bare body
The days we spent under the mild sun
The soft pecks on the neck
The beautiful words
‘I love you’
Did not come to a stop
I came to the stop
I forced this loneliness
Myself and aren’t I punished for that?
The neon lights painting a soft blue hue
Over our small table in a warm corner of the coffee house
Sipping coffee we looked into each other’s eyes
How long? I can’t remember
I only remember that I never got tired of watching you
I remember the slender neck tapering into sharp collar bones
The soft blue dancing on the high cheekbones
My weak wrist is balancing my gaunt hand on the edge of the table
But now there is no hand cupping it, covering it from the harsh
realities
Of the frigid world and murmuring to my ear
Tickling it, standing behind me, towering over me
Don’t worry- I am here
Only the memory of you- of us- of love- of our love- of hope
Remains around me
Wrapped to my weaning body like a thin, Georgette saree
If I didn’t go, if I listened to you, if I did what you wanted me to
do
Perhaps we’d be still together
Perhaps…
Who knows really what would have happened…
Perhaps this is my fate
Perhaps you will come
Perhaps we’ll accidentally meet in a mundane
Place like a couple from a Hollywood movie
Perhaps… perhaps…
Even if I didn’t go
Something would still have parted us…