Lost Soul | Natalie Bentley
They say I am a lost
soul, but I know where
I am,
have not been lost
for a long time.
I am located on this spot
where I will wait
for the dawn.
They say I am a lost
soul, but I know where
I am,
have not been lost
for a long time.
I am located on this spot
where I will wait
for the dawn.
The walls of this small room
always closing in
getting ever so nearer
The roof gasping
searching for the last breath
There must be someone on the outside
of these brick walls
A giant
pushing, always pushing
these lonely walls toward me
squeezing the last of what life is left
suffocating the search for the last breath
the room a piece of paper torn with scribbled ink
Crushed and crumpled
by the hands of a giant
At the mercy of omnipotent palms
some call it God
I call it the Self
The shackles feel tight
how did I even manage to
get them on?
Dig one layer out,
there’s more me beneath,
dermis lays upon dermis,
a stack of selfishness.
I am boycotting myself
as of today, no longer
pandering to this proud
abusive creature I carry.
Made real
this person I crave to be
no longer swept away
by injurious words
the small frame of views
from others
no longer defined by
criticism, that easy art
practiced in the absence
of real action, of creation
made real.
I’m a certain
red-headed species
of human
who wishes she
looked good
in hats
whose hair
is not a natural
color
whose smile
is not a
natural smile.
Forgive me
for the way I have
misused my words
to spread hate, lust,
and ugliness.
Forgive me
for using a pen
as a sword.
This is my pledge
to bring wholeness
with words instead.
On a clear Saturday night, there are
Always more stars twinkling in the sky
Why so many of them? Asked my child
Probably because it is warmer in summer
And
The space is larger
Just as there are also more stars in a man’s heart
When his inner climate is better